உறவுகள்எடிட்டர் சாய்ஸ்புதியவை

உங்கள் உறவில் அன்யோன்யம் அதிகரிக்க… நீங்கள் செய்ய வேண்டிய 10 விஷயங்கள்!

வாழ்நாள் முழுக்க சந்தோசமாக இருக்க வேண்டும் என்று இந்த உலகமே வாழ்த்தினாலும் கூட, எந்த ஒரு ஜோடியாலும் 24×7 சந்தோஷமாகவே இருக்க முடியாது. டீக் குடிக்கும் முன் வேறு இனிப்பு உண்டுவிட்டால்.. அந்த டீயின் சுவை மறைந்துவிடும். அப்படி தான்… தொடர்ந்து இனிப்பு (சந்தோஷம்) மட்டுமே வாழ்வில் நிறைந்திருந்தால். வாழ்க்கை சுவைக்காது. அவ்வப்போது மிளகாயும் கடிக்க வேண்டும். அப்போது தான் இனிப்பின் சுவை எவ்வளவு அருமையானது என்பதை உணர முடியும். வாழ்க்கை என்பது நாணயத்தின் இரு பக்கங்களை போல தானே, சுண்டிவிடும் போதெல்லாம் பூ விழுந்துக் கொண்டே இருக்குமா என்ன? பூவும், தலையும் மாறி, மாறி விழத்தான் செய்யும். வெறும் பூவோ, வெறும் தலையோ அழகானதா..? அல்ல பூ சூடிய தலை அழகானதா? நீங்களே யோசிங்க…

சரி! உங்கள் வாழ்வில் அன்யோன்யம் அதிகரிக்க… நீங்க செய்ய வேண்டிய பத்து விஷயங்கள் என்னென்ன… பேஸ்புக்கில் எங்களது செய்திகளை உடனுக்குடன் படிக்க க்ளிக் செய்யவும் ஒப்பீடு வேண்டாம்… ஒருவேளை நீங்கள் முன்னதாக ஒரு நபரை காதலித்திருந்தாலோ அல்லது என் காதலன் / கணவன் இப்படியாக தான் இருக்க வேண்டும் என்று எதேனும் கனவு கொண்டிருந்தாலோ… அதை உங்கள் துணையுடன் ஒப்பிட வேண்டாம். நான் விரும்புவதே போன்றே ஒரு துணை வேண்டும் என்றால் ரோபாட் தான் செய்துக் கொள்ள வேண்டும். ஒருவரை மற்றொருவருடன் ஒப்பிடுவது தேவையற்ற சண்டைகளையும், உறவில் விரிசலையும் உருவாக்கும். அச்சம், பாதுகாப்பின்மை பற்றி பேசுங்க…




அச்சம், பாதுகாப்பின்மை என்பது மனித உணர்வுகளில் இயல்பானவை… நீங்கள் எதுக் குறித்து அச்சப்படுகிறீர்கள், எந்தெந்த விஷயங்கள் உங்களை பாதுகாப்பின்மையாக உணர செய்கிறது என்று உங்கள் துணையுடன் பேசி தீர்த்துக் கொள்வது நலம். இப்படி பேசிக் கொள்வது உங்கள இருவர் மத்தியில் கருத்து வேறுபாடு அல்லது தவறான புரிதல் உருவாகாமல் காக்கும். மகிழ்ச்சியாக இருக்க… உங்கள் இருவருக்குள் இருக்கும் உறவை எந்தெந்த செயல் எல்லாம் மகிழ்சிக்குமோ அதை செய்ய சற்றும் யோசிக்க வேண்டாம். உங்கள் செயல் ஒன்றினை உங்கள் துணை விரும்புகிறார் என்றால், அது மிகையாமால், அவருக்கு போரடிக்காமல் எப்படி எல்லாம் உங்களால் செய்ய முடியுமோ அப்படி எல்லாம் செய்திடுங்கள். இது ஒருவர் மேல் ஒருவர் ஈர்ப்பு குறையாமல் இருக்க உதவும். சமூக தளத்தோடு மதிப்பிட வேண்டாம்…


உங்கள் துணை சமூக தளங்களில் போடும் பதிவுகளுடன், அவரை ஒப்பிட வேண்டாம். சமூக தளத்தில் கேலி, கிண்டலுக்காக, லைக்ஸ் வாங்குவதற்காக கூட ஏதேனும் பதிவிடப்படலாம். அதை கொண்டு அவர் அப்படிப்பட்டவராக இருப்பார் என்று சந்தேகிப்பது தவறு. சோஷியல் மீடியா எனும் மாய உலகை நிஜ உலகுடன் ஒப்பிடுவது தவறான ஒன்று. வாய் திறக்கவும்.. உங்கள் துணை பேசும் ஏதேனும் ஒன்று உங்களுக்கு பிடிக்கவில்லை. அது அருவருப்பாக இருக்கிறது, அது உங்களை அசௌகரியமாக உணர செய்கிறது எனில், அதை வெளிப்படையாக பேசுங்கள். அப்போது நீங்கள் உணர்வு ரீதியாக எப்படி பாதிக்கப்படுகிறீர்கள் என்பதை உங்கள் துணை அறிந்துக் கொள்ள முடியும்.

சௌகரியமாக உணர வைங்க… தினமும் குறைந்தபட்சம் ஒரு நிமிடமாவது உங்களால், நீங்கள் செய்த காரியத்தின் காரணத்தால் உங்கள் துணை சௌகரியமாக அல்லது சந்தோசமாக உணர வேண்டும். வெறும் நிமிடம் எப்படி போதும் என்று நீங்கள் கருதலாம். அந்த ஒருநிமிடத்தையே அவர் அந்த ஒரு நாள் முழுக்க நினைத்து பெருமிதம் அடைவார் என்பதே உண்மை. எனவே, உங்கள் மூலமாக உங்கள் துணை வாழ்க்கையை சௌகரியமாக உணர செய்தல் மிகவும் அவசியம். மனதை படிக்க… சிலர் தாங்கள் நினைப்பதை தங்கள் துணை சரியாக கண்டறிய வேண்டும் என்று எண்ணுவார்கள்.


உண்மையில் இது தவறான அணுகுமுறை. நீங்கள் நினைக்கும் எல்லாவற்றையும் உங்கள் துணை கண்டறிந்து விட்டால் வாழ்க்கை சுவாரஸ்யமாகவே இருக்காது. சில சமயங்களில் நீங்கள் ஒரு புதிராகவும் இருக்க வேண்டும். அவர் கஷ்டப்பட்டு அந்த புதிரை அவிழ்க்க வேண்டும். அது தான் வாழ்க்கையின் சுவாரஸ்யமே. முடிவை நம்புங்க… உங்கள் துணை ஏதேனும் ஒரு முடிவு எடுக்கிறார் என்றால், அதில் அவர் தீர்க்கமாக, சரியாக வரும் என்று கூறுகிறார் என்றால். அதை நம்புங்கள். ஒருவேளை சரியாகவே நடந்துவிட்டால் அவரிடம் தன்னம்பிக்கை உயரும். ஒருவேளை எதிர்பாராதவிதமாக தோல்வி அடைந்துவிட்டாள், இனிமேல், எதுவாக இருந்தாலும் உங்களுடன் கலந்தாலோசித்து முடிவு எடுக்கலாம் என்ற எண்ணம் வளரும். இந்த இரண்டுமே உங்களுக்கு சாதகமாக தான் இருக்கும்.

சண்டை, சமாதானம்! சண்டை போடுங்கள்… ஆனால், சண்டை மட்டுமே போட்டுக் கொண்டு இருக்காதீர்கள்.இருவர் மத்தியில் காதல் இருந்தால் நிச்சயம் சண்டை வரும். ஒருவர் மீது ஒருவர் அதீத காதல் கொண்டிருந்தால், அந்த காதலின் காரணமாக கூட சண்டை வரும். ஆனால், இன்று சண்டைக்கு பிறகு சமாதானம் வேண்டும். ஈகோவுடன்… நான் பெரிதா, நீ பெரிதா என்று முகத்தை திருப்பிக் கொண்டு செல்ல கூடாது. மறக்கவும், மன்னிக்கவும் பழகிக் கொள்ள வேண்டும். எதிர்காலம்! எதிர்கால திட்டங்கள் மிகவும் அவசியம். உங்களது இன்றைய சேமிப்பை எதிர்காலத்தில் எப்படி பயன்படுத்தலாம் என்பதில் துவங்கி பிள்ளை பெற்றுக் கொள்வதில் இருந்து அவர்களை வளர்க்கும் வரை அனைத்திற்கும் எதிர்கால திட்டங்கள் அவசியம்.

சுயம்! அனைத்திற்கும் மேலாக உங்களை நீங்கள் நம்ப வேண்டும். உறவில் நம்பிக்கை மிகவும் அவசியம். நம்பிக்கை இழந்துவிட்டால் உறவை இழந்துவிடுவோம். உங்கள் உறவின் மீதான நம்பிக்கை, உங்கள் உறவை மேலோங்க செய்யும். ஒருவரை ஒருவரை நம்புதல்… உங்கள் இருவரையும் மேலோங்க செய்யும். நம்பிக்கை இல்லை என்றால் பாதுகாப்பின்மை பிறக்கும். பாதுகாப்பின்மை இல்லாத உணர்வு, உறவை சிதைக்கும். எனவே, நம்புங்க!

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